I’m sorry to bother you, I’m sorry to rant—
After all, why would you care? I’m a cat with no pants!
Pants! That’s one thing that I just don’t get—
But yesterday I went out and bought a whole set!
Why, you may ask? For the past few days,
I’ve been seeing everything in a new sort of haze.
It all started with the cousin—do you remember him?
A real nasty cat who fills me to the brim
With awful emotions, it messes with my chi,
And so I stuffed him in the vacuum—you’d do the same, were you me.
But though I don’t have to stare at his fur,
I can still hear him—and this cat doesn’t purr.