Folks! I have some wonderful news,
It comes in one part, not three parts, not two—
Which shows how succinct and great I am!
I promise you, kids, this isn’t a sham.
For a limited time, you too can be fun!
Not that you weren’t before—c’mon, don’t run—
I’m offering now, in a one-time sale!
The rights to wear my hat—you’ll get it by mail!
And this special offer is available at a fee—
Twenty-five dollars, satisfaction guaranteed!
For once you put it on, you’ll jump with joy,
You’ll feel like a girl again, you’ll feel like a boy.
And c’mon, my name is somewhat acclaimed,
You’ll feel important and famous just wearing my name—
Which is the point of labels! Am I right? Am I wrong?
Oh, come on folks, come on, play along.
You’d be honored to be seen wearing my hat!
So buy away now, to get a piece of the Cat!
Remember, that’s twenty thirty-five dollars, plus shipping, too
To feel like the best possible version of you.