Today was the most wonderful thing!
It makes me want to jump, it makes me want to sing!
It’s December, getting cold, not my favorite weather,
But I felt fine! I was better than ever,
When suddenly I saw her—I felt dizzy, I sat,
She clean knocked me over, this Rat in a Hat.
The hat! It was pink, it was pinkest of pink,
More fit for a queen than a rat, I would think,
And it had one fair feather that would reach to a ceiling,
And her clothes! Why, they weren’t even revealing!
How modest! How chic! She was sent from above,
And just like that! I knew I was in love.
It was new! I felt my heart swell and jerk,
Interspecies love—but we would make it work!
My parents would disown us, but we wouldn’t care!
We would conquer the world, any when, anywhere!
And at night I’d touch her whiskers and give her a squeeze,
She’d introduce me to all types of cheese,
And I would teach her how to have fun,
My evolutionary foe would become my only, my one—
Everything, everything was suddenly a blur!
I had to, had to, had to have her!
I ran after her, it was a moment of haste,
And I regret to inform she mistook my love for a chase.
She ran from me! And her sweet little tail
Is the only image I have left, but I’m still on her trail—
At night I lie awake, every day, every week,
Listening hard for her sweet little squeak.
Rat, if you’re listening, know that you’re a dream,
You’re everything that I live for and behind every scheme,
And though I may not like long walks on beaches,
Or water in general (I’m not one of those Sneetches),
I’m spontaneous and single! I’m one of a kind!
I think with my heart, and not with my mind.
And sure, I have some baggage—I’ve been in trouble with the law,
But look! I’m honest! I’m new! I’m raw!
And I don’t eat much (only flat things to sup)
I’m not good at cooking, but I always clean up.
Oh, don’t you see! Everything we could be!
Feline seeking rodent—answer my plea.